We start our 5th episode of Big Brother 12 recapping poor Annie’s eviction. Rachel is ecstatic about getting to spend more time with Brendon and Enzo is equally pleased by dropping the first “Brigade Grenade”. His joy quickly depletes as Rachel wins HOH and everybody realizes what a whopper of a mistake they make by keeping her. Brendon has to fess up to the group that he’s so much smarter than everybody and has a PhD in his usual condescending manner. Andrew and Regan revel in the fact that no one has discovered how utterly brilliant they are yet. I don’t think I’ve discovered this either, guys.

Rachel wins HOH and decides to celebrate by mooning America! Brittney gets half a star for saying how they let some “idiot who wasn’t even smart enough to put on pants” win. Ha! Everybody is in a general consensus that Brendon will be the power behind the throne this week. By the way, what was up with Andrew jumping up and down at Rachel’s win? Good ‘ol Andrew, let’s not loose him soon, he’s good for some comedy relief.

The Brigade realizes what idiots they were for keeping Rachel in the house and start to “brain”storm on who they should campaign for. Hmmm, Britney and Monet look like good candidates, don’t they? Brenchel glorify in how bitter everyone was at their win. Everyone includes me, too.

HOH Room reveal. Brit get’s another half a star for saying “whatever, I will follow her flopping butt cheeks all the way up the stairs into her room”. Oh Britney, do you really wonder why you were put up? Bored, moving on…

Sensing the we are not in a tizzy with Brenchel’s showmance, Big Brother shows us a new relationship simmering with Hayden and Kristin. Hayden call Kristen hot and mysterious. That’s fine, but I think it’s also a mystery to Hayden that the moon isn’t the back side of the sun, too. Kristen has a nice little body on her, but I can’t get the vision out of my head brought to us by LesbianUnicorns of her uncanny resemblance to Will Ferrell. Eeks!

Brit and Monet reveal their joy that they have each other in the house. Who else could they share their “mean girl” thoughts with? They belittle Andrew, Rachel and Kristen a little and call everybody “fake”. Who are they calling fake? What the…?!?

Hayden again surprises me and skillfully plants the Brit/Monet seed in Rachel’s head thus saving The Brigade and Kristen from the chopping block. Matt tries and succeeds to appear paranoid to Rachel, but having the opposite effect than hoped, putting himself under Rachel’s close scrutiny. More Brenchel kissing, bored, moving on.

Have/Have Not competition is on. The HG’s are divided into teams of three and must unstick a taped down “human graffiti” HG from an opposing team. I thought it was a fun comp with the exception of Rachel trying to sound like Bell Biv DeVoe. Did anybody enjoy watching Britney choke as much as me? Team Orange wins and chooses Britney, Monet, Brendon and Enzo to be the Have Not’s for the week. Not to shabby for the HN’s this week, I could deal with fishsticks and fruitcake.

The HG’s discover that Annie was the Saboteur (phwew, I’m glad I don’t have to type that word again) and all pat themselves on the back for their sheer cleverness by getting her out early, especially Enzo.

Brit goes to Rachel to unsuccessfully plead her case, but Hayden jock blocks her and replants the Brit/Monet seed. Brenchel heeds his advice and surprise, surprise; Britney and Monet are nominated.

As Big Brother Spoilers has already reported, Britney wins the POV and the replacement nomination will be announced today. If you are not watching the Live Feeds with me, you are still eligigle for a 3-day free trial.

After much careful observation and analysis this morning, I’ve come the the following conclusions: Britney gains a full star in my ratings, Brendon is still a d*bag, and Hayden is smarter than I initially gave him credit. What do you think of Rachel’s nominations and who do you hope will go on the block today? Tell me what you think!

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